pjmarty

New Website

This blog is due to expire in one week!

One of my resolutions was to save money.  Even though this blog won't be expensive, I would rather not have to pay, so I set up a new site.

From now on, please visit Leigh's Journey

Surprise, Surprise

A 2.8kg gain and I have the nerve to be upset.  I knew by acting like the fat fucking bloated pig that I am, that I was going to put on weight, but did that stop me?

All I can say is I was glad to back at WW today but I just have nothing else to say, except that I am disgusting!!!

Week Ending 3/1/05

Points Allowed                 152 points

Points Eaten                    No Idea

Steps                               No Idea

Bonus Points                    No Idea

Exercise                           No Idea

Week beginning weight   79.9 kg

Week ending weight         82.7 kg

Week GAIN                        2.8 kg

Total Lost                         28.5 kg

BMI                                   26.13

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Firstly let me say, Happy New Year to you all.  I hope 2005 brings you everything you wish for and more!

Now bear with me because although I not a philosophical person but I am going to try and describe where I have been, and where I am going through an analogy.

As I have said my last few weeks of 2004 have been what can be best described as an embarrassment!  And although it isn’t an excuse, I knew that I was heading towards my year – 2005 and I let myself go.  But now is the time to think about what I have done and where I am going.

If you could describe my life, I guess you could say that I have lived a life on a very bumpy road.  You know, like a country dirt track.

2004 was a good year because, although not perfect, I think I can safely say I got off the dirt track and at the very least moved onto an asphalt road (still with me?).  But the problem was I thought it was OK to do U-turns.  Yes, it is OK to have U-turns on your journey, but not as many as I did.  But all in all 2004 was a great year.

What now for 2005?  Well as I said, I am already on the asphalt road, but it is time to turn the corner! (Boy, this is getting corny!!).  I started off the year exactly how I planned, and that is feeling healthy with NO hangover.  Pete came into work for lunch yesterday and we also had a few drinks.  Of course I had to go back to work and then drive home so I couldn’t keep drinking.  Unfortunately for me, Pete did, so the company last night was not riveting!  But it was good for me, because I had my dinner, tried to put up with Pete and his stupid ways and crawled into bed at

10pm

.  Yep, didn’t even bother to see the New Year in, because although it is going to be my year, it really is just another night, right?  So 2005 is the year that I turn the corner and achieve all the goals that I listed in my previous post.  This time, absolutely NO excuses – it will not be acceptable!

I felt great this morning, the first day of the New Year.  I have done a 90 minute walk, watched a DVD (the Bourne Supremacy) and some washing.  Just about to have a shower now and a few hours rest before heading off to work tonight (bummer!).

Things are moving on the job front, I have sent my Resume off to 4 people now.  Pete and I decided that if I get a job, there is no use saying I don’t want it until June; I have to take what I can get. That might mean that I move up to

Brisbane

a little earlier, but hey I won’t be complaining, in fact I will be rejoicing! I have sent my Resume to my PowerTel Queensland State Sales Manager, to my old Telstra Regional Manager, to my friend who works for a stockbroker and to another friend who works for Allianz (insurance company). And I am checking seek.com every day.  You never know, I just might find my dream job.  And I haven’t given up on the idea of Real Estate!

So my friends, thanks again for all your support.  I hope I can make you proud in 2005 J

BLAH BLAH BLAH

That is how I am feeling after my disappointing effort over the closing stages of December.  I have probably been the most ill disciplined I have been all year!  The reason why I am so disappointed is because I can recall, like it was yesterday, how I started my year off.  I started at 104.9kg and lost 4.5kg in the first week!  That's discipline, however this last week I have probably regained that, and some!  Yes, I have done well this year in losing over 20 kilos (30 all up) but it is the times where I 'lose the plot' that are so damn annoying. Why?

But there is no use dwelling!  2005 is such an exciting year for me - I have so much happening and so much to look forward too!

1. I am realising my dream and moving back to Brisbane to live in MY house
2. As a consequence of moving back to Brisbane I will be starting a new job (don't know what, but hey a change is as good as a holiday)
3. I will finally be able to buy something I have wanted all my life - a dog, and not just any dog, my favourite dog, the Labrador
4. I may fall pregnant!
5. And finally, I will reach goal!

I am sure there are many other things that I know are going to happen that are exciting, but the 5 above are what I am most excited about.  Of course there are many things that I don't yet know about and that is exciting too.

What am I going to do (in other words, what are my New Year's Resolutions?)

1. I am going to learn self discipline, and improve my willpower.  I grabbed a slimming magazine and one of the subjects grabbed my attention.  It was all about 'bingeing'.  I think I already knew it, but I have never had the guts to admit it - I am the classic binger!  I have to learn that bingeing doesn't help and is certainly not the answer.  I have to find out why I binge?  So I am going to keep an eye out and grab some self help books - I honestly believe I need that mental stimulation/help as well.
2. I am going to stop beating my self up
3. I am going to treat my body the way it deserves to be treated. For 19 years I have binged on drink, food, smoke (thankfully at least, I never did drugs) and enough is enough.  My body has been kind to me in that it hasn't yet packed it up, so it is now time for me to be nice to my body, in other words, me!
4. I am going to try and be less cynical and more patient
5. I am going to save money so I can realise another dream and that is renovating MY house.

In closing my thoughts go out to all that are suffering through this terrible tsunami tragedy.  When I think about what I am having to deal with and then see what is happening in the world, well my problems seem rather trivial.  Don't get me wrong, what matters to me is important, but it kinda gets put into perspective when I see the people of the world suffering like they are now right now.  My heart aches :-(

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

A little Sad

I am feeling a little sad today. I didn't think working today would be upsetting but it is! Funny that - derrr! I had a few hours sleep and then got up and made some cheese platters and bikkies for tomorrow. I tried sleeping again but couldn't so went for a 90 minute walk. I then went around to Pete's parents place for an hour before heading into work. Everybody was having such a good time (ie the people on the beach (when walking) and the folks at Pete's parents place). I really wanted to stay but alas I had to come in here. Oh well, nothing can be done, so no use dwelling on it. I hope everybody had a wonderful day - my day is tomorrow and I am very much looking forward to it :-)

MERRY CHRISTMAS

To all my online buddies,

It is Xmas Eve and I am typing this at work.  I have just read all the journals and want to now take this moment to wish you all the best over the holiday season.  Enjoy your time with your friends and family, be good (but not too good) and don't worry too much about your weight.  Having said that though, remember what you have learnt this year from whoever it is that you have learnt things and do your best to apply it(sorry don't mean to lecture, that sounded like a lecture didn't it?). 

Personally I am doing OK.  My non drinking days finished last night - 12 days without a drink - not bad for me!  Because I am working over Xmas I won't be seeing the family until Boxing Day so we had chinese last night with some wine.  It was nice and I certainly enjoyed the drink (and I was sensible too!).  My weight is UP (bummer) but that was expected (see A Blow Out).  Not to worry though - I ran for 25 minutes today and did over 1 hour of walking.  Exercise and getting back on to the right foods is the key for me.

Just went out the back at work and Oh Dear.  The boss has bought chips, nuts, drinks, pate, cheeses - everything you could imagine.  It is for us ninkimpoops that have to work whilst everybody else is with their families - how strong am I?  Oh Dear!!!!

Lastly, thank you all for your continued support.  I can honestly say that I don't think I would of been able to have come this far without you.  Although I don't think I will be the best behaved girl over the new few days I can honestly say I can't wait for 2005.  I for one am going to get to goal before the 1st half of the year.  I reckon many of you will too!!!

One last thing - 13 days without a smoke and boy it feels good:-)

A blow out

Oops - I had been doing really well during the last week and last night I went a little silly (well a lot silly, actually)

I ate 2 weight watchers chocolate bars and then some ice cream.  That was on top of our easy, lazy, not really healthy dinner of ham and cheese sandwiches.  Total points for the day - 40.  Shit, that annoys me, ie why I do such stupid, reckless things.  Coming into dinner last night I was only on 11 points!  Then the hoover (in other words, my big mouth) went into overdrive.  I guess I will have to try and make up for it and the only reason I can say that I am happy to be working tomorrow night and Christmas night is because my eating on night shifts is brilliant - I usually catch up any points during these nights. 

I finish Boxing day morning.  I will have a little sleep and then head out for the big party at the Webers'.  I still managed to save some WW bars (amazing!!) and I am going to cut them up and make a platter containing these, along with some WW shortbread thingys that I am going to make when I awake Christmas afternoon.  I am also making a cheese platter (my downfall).  Although I will be mindful, I can say 100% that Boxing Day won't be my best day for points!  And as has been pointed out by so many, that's OK, it is only one day, but I really want to be able to come back and say I was controlled.  If I can't be controlled, have I learnt anything?  I reckon if I went back and read my journals from the last year, I would fall over when realising how many times I fall off the wagon (so to speak).   I think I can say that I have learnt something - the times that I do fall off the wagon are the times when I consciously choose to.  At least now, I try to make up for it by reducing eating and increasing exercise - once upon a time I would've done nothing (hence me becoming a fatty boom bah) - so I guess I have learnt something after all?!?!?

More than anything, right now though, is that I want to be able to remain smoke free! I know the drinking tally will go back to ZERO because I really want to have a drink and Marg (Pete's sister) has already lined up the Blue Omni for Boxing Day. 

I will back tomorrow with my Merry christmas wishes :-)

Week ending 20/12/04

Points Allowed                 152 points

Points Eaten                    164.75

Steps                               168707 (119.09 kms)

Bonus Points                    60 points

Exercise                           14 walks totalling 12h 20m

                                         3 runs totalling 1h 15m

                                         2 weights/situps/squats totalling 1h

Week beginning weight   79.9 kg

Week ending weight         79.9 kg

Week Lost                         NIL

Total Lost                         31.3 kg

BMI                                   25.2

A bit disappointed I didn't lose anything but at least I didn't gain - I think perhaps the last 2 days didn't help.  They made me go over on my points eaten - or maybe it was just my big loss last week was evening out?

OH and most importantly 11 and 11!!!

Harry Potter

With images like this, we wonder why it is hard to lose weight over Christmas? LOL

8 and 8 - still going strong

I finally get to watch the new Harry Potter film!  Yeehaaaaa!  I have heard it is quite scary but I am 36 so I think I should be able to manage a kid's movie???  And yes I am 36 and loving a kid's movie but I don't care, I absolutely love the Harry Potter films.  I haven't read one book yet because I am waiting until all books are out and then I can buy a collector's editon package!

I will get to watch it tonight, after we eat our pasta meal made with our very own first ever batch of home made pasta!  Pete and I bought each other a pasta maker for Xmas and even though I wrapped the box to put under the tree, we have the maker in our cupboard, ready for use.  So whilst I labour away at work on another long dull 12 hour shift, Pete is preparing the pasta.  Only problem is he is going to make bacon carbonara with the pasta - yummy but oh so fattening.  I have made him buy light cream and asked him to use it sparingly, and because we make the pasta ourselves I think I can get away without the meal being a complete point disaster. And, as I said to Beckie, I can have a smaller serving than I normally do - that way I don't miss out!

Anyway back to Harry. After the meal we will be watching the film and it doesn't matter that it will end up being a late night (I don't get home from work until 8pm) because I don't have to get up at 5.30am to go to work tomorrow morning.  BUT I am going to be up and walking by 9am because I am meeting 2 friends for lunch in town.  We are meeting at 12.30pm and it takes me 3 hours to walk into town so I will have 30 minutes to get ready (and recover - LOL).

I have been really good with my points this week - started off using most of my bonus points but since then have been only eating about 20 points a day.  It is amazing how much of a difference 2 points less a day makes.  I nearly forgot that once I got under 80 kilos I had to drop my daily intake from 22 points to 20 points but luckily I was trying to keep my points down this week, regardless of my recorded weight.  My exercise has been great, although I haven't been able to do another run. I wanted to do 4 runs this week, but never mind, I think doing a 3 hour walk will make up for it.

Hope everybody has had a great weekend and is enjoying this festive time of the year. Although I am stuck at work over Christmas, I still love this time of the year :-)